How to Successfully Overcome Past Hurt

photo courtesy of sandrahillawi.com

DO you have the skills to deal with a terrible yesterday so as to have a terrific tomorrow, in other words, do you know how to deal with the pains of the past to have a better future? Some scholars argue that if you don’t deal with and conquer the pains of yesterday, you may not enjoy the gains of today, and indeed tomorrow.

Recently I was in a chat with Raphael, a friend I had lost contact with about 25 years ago. Back in the days, Raphael was a quiet and introverted kid. Until our discussion, I didn’t know why. He is a grown man now. Raphael grew up with his step mum after the father literally chased Raphael’s mum out of the house. She was accused of been at fault for Raphael’s dad’s poor financial showing and lack of prosperity. The step mum constantly physically and verbally abused young Raphael. She saw no good in the poor kid. At that tender age, he was used as a maid; cleaning, washing and scrubbing the house.  Raphael still believes that his vertical disadvantage, he is not tall forgive me, is attributable to the lack of adequate nutrition while growing up.

The step mum had a tradition of starving him as a form of punishment. He resorted to stealing food both from within and within. When caught and reported to the step mum, the cycle of physical and verbal abuse repeated itself. Raphael’s father’s long absence from home, occasioned by his quest for fame and fortune, didn’t help matters. In his early teen, the step mother forcibly withdrew Raphael from our secondary school, very curious at the time because Raphael was top of the class. He instead was forced to learn a trade.

This story is not an indictment of step mums because there are many great step mums out there.

photo courtesy of enkivillage.com

Anyway, at age 25, Raphael went back to secondary school, and is presently doing his undergraduate studies. Needless to say that life has been difficult for Raphael as he is still dealing with the pains of the past. His eyes flickered as he shared his pain, and tears rolled down his check. I too cried, silently. I shared some tips with him, and today he is getting better and importantly moving forward.

On dealing with the pains of the past, look for a selfless, skilled and professional confidant. It is important that the confidant is selfless. A selfish confidant may take advantage and exploit your situation. Skill and professionalism are necessary so as to provide correct, sound and appropriate counsel. While many people would tend for a spiritual counsellor, it may sometimes, depending on your case, be better to consult a professional counsellor or life coach that will help you define and express your pain. While the decision is yours, I can advise on a confidant, should you need one. Let me also state that you don’t need to keep focusing or retelling your story. 

TO BE CONTINUED

Remember to keep a date with The Next Level with Chukwuemeka International Self-Discovery and Financial Empowerment Conference coming in November 18 to 19, 2015 in Abuja, and see your life take a new turn. Remember to register to attend.

In your success journey, what insights have you acquired or tips you would like to share? I would like to hear from you. Your feedback is valued.

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