How to Successfully Deal with Difficult People

photo courtesy of bbc.com

OH my goodness, difficult people are all over the place; in the office, social groups, business associations, the neighbourhood, and who knows, maybe in the family also. Maybe you are even going to deal with one shortly. It surely isn’t an enviable position to be in. I have my own share of difficult people I have to deal with. The more I close my eyes wishing that they will just disappear, no, the stronger they seem to become. So how do you successfully deal with them?

Let me begin with this quote by John Craig, “No matter how much work a man can do, no matter how engaging his personality may be, he will not advance far in business if he cannot work through others.” This quote emphasises the inevitable requirement to work in a team, sometimes comprising of difficult people.

As a background, it may be helpful to remind ourselves that some people are only happy when they’re unhappy and bringing down everyone else around them too. While some difficult people may have deep underlying emotional and psychological issues that inform their behaviour, one must be conversant with how to deal with them.

Let me quickly point out here that there are no one-rule-fits-all approach in dealing with difficult people. The points I will share are general principles that though are not exhaustive, they are adaptable depending on the circumstance one finds self. 

It is also very important to state that we should not confuse principled people with difficult people. If anything at all, our world needs more principled people. By difficult people I mean people who enjoy spreading unhappiness, not tolerant, and despite all efforts for them to see reason, won’t see it. They are literarily speaking difficult to relate with.

photo courtesy of hrpayrollsystems.net 

One of the important steps in dealing with difficult people is to identify them. Once you identify such a person, your immediate purpose should not be to change such a person. Why you may ask? Trying to change such a person will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite criticism, or otherwise make things worse. It also makes you a more difficult person to deal with.

According to the popular internet site, WebMD, you should turn the spotlight on you, and quoting Rick Kirschner, N.D., coauthor of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, “You must change how you react to people before you can change how you interact with them.” This requires some self-examination. People who irritate us usually have something to show us about ourselves.

It is necessary to build your emotional energy once you identify a difficult person you must deal or interact with. Emotional energy will enable you withstand all the psychological attacks you may have to encounter. May I encourage you to get Episode 4 of The Next Level with Chukwuemeka audio broadcast for more on Emotional Energy.

To be continued.

In your success journey, what insights have you acquired or tips you would like to share? Please share with us. I would like to hear from you. Your feedback is valued.

Also kindly encourage your friends to visit this blog www.iamchukwuemeka.blogspot.com for motivational and inspirational pieces. You may never know how it can benefit them.

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